Courtesy of I Just Said Yes
Newly Married & Splitting Up the Holidays?
The holidays are just around the corner and the family gatherings and social functions are soon to begin. But here comes the big question: as an engaged or newly married couple, how do you split your time between both families?
You both probably have traditions that have taken place for years that you don’t want to miss. How does one decide which family to spend it with?
First and foremost, communication between the two of you is the most important thing. Try not to involve your family members in this at first, because that is likely to cause more stress in making a decision. Try to reach a common ground between the two of you and stick to it.
You must consider some factors when making your decision on where you will be for the holidays, such as where both families are located. If they are all within the same city, then splitting your time should not be a huge issue. You can do Christmas Eve at one home and Christmas Day at another. If your family traditionally does Christmas Day but your fiance’s family does as well, then the decision becomes more difficult. A second consideration is your ethnic background… I’m thinking My Big Fat Greek Wedding here. Come on, you’ve all seen it! Family size and traditions play a huge part in holiday decision making.
Perhaps you can plan a daytime event such as a Christmas breakfast with one side of the family, so you can attend other festivities in the evening. You could also try drinks and appetizers at one party, then head to the other for dinner and dessert. It’s all about compromise and you certainly can make that happen. Both sets of families will be understanding, even if mom may be a little sad to see her baby grow up. I promise, true family will not be offended with your decision!
Another great solution is offering to host a Christmas Day party for the first time as a married couple and try to invite both sides of the family (assuming they all get along). This will certainly help to avoid who you are choosing and is nice to bring both sides together. Now, for the following year it may not be as difficult splitting the holidays.
If both of your families live far away from each other, then you need to discuss who you will spend your time with. Of course, if the cost is astronomical to do both then you must pick one. If there is a way to travel to both sets of parents, then choose one to spend Christmas with, and the other for New Year’s.
There are many holidays in a year, so don’t forget about events such as birthdays, Easter, or Thanksgiving, which you can alternate between families as well. The most important thing is to share these special days with both sides of the family, because they are just as instrumental to the relationship as the couple themselves.
As they say….when you marry, you marry the family! So make these little moments count.